Careful What You Wish For
by Devil of My Family
Summary: Dean had always hoped that when he died it'd be fast, painless and that Sam wouldn't have to witness it. But now that he's dying it's long, painful and Sam's right there next to him.
1. Chapter 1

**Careful What You Wish For**

**Summary: **Dean had always hoped that when he died it'd be fast, painless and that Sam wouldn't have to witness it. But now that he's dying it's long, painful and Sam's right there next to him.

**AN: **I promised I'd be back, didn't I? And now I'm back, even maybe not as fast as I thought but I am. Give this story a chance, okay? I haven't decided where this will go, it's way more interesting for me to write if I don't have it all planed out and it gives you the possibility to give ideas. :D My friend works for me as a idea bank but that doesn't mean that I don't listen to other ideas, too. Okay, so, to the story.

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter one**

"Son of a bitch..." Dean said as he landed hard on the floor of a small bedroom of an old house. He was face to face with the spirit that was hunting it and still the only thing that was screaming in his mind was: _Don't let Sam walk in._

The spirit made it's way to Dean's side. It was a girl, around 15 and she looked as innocent as any teenager could. But the way she smiled when she put her hand on Dean's cheek made Dean shiver. How could such a beutiful smile look so cold? Dean didn't have time to figure that out because the next thing he felt was pain that was so intense it made him yell in agony. He could hear the girl whisper 'die' over and over again and when the pain became unbareble he realized he was wishing that he would.

Suddenly Dean didn't feel the hand on his cheel anymore. But still, just taking a breath made his body scream for mercy. Dean heard two gunshots and a scream but he had no energy to look up. He closed his eyes, willing the pain to go away, willing for it to stop...

"Dean?"

Oh, crap, Sammy... No Sammy had to get out, the spirit would take him, too... That couldn't happen, Dean couldn't let that happen...

"Dean? Dean, please, answer me. Say something, please!"

"Hurts, Sam..." The words came out of Dean's mouth before he had any chance to stop them. He opened his eyes to meet Sam's brown ones. "Sam, the spirit..."

"I shot her with rock salt, Dean, she's gone for a while", Sam said. "We have to get out of here, you're bleeding pretty badly..."

_Bleeding? When did I start bleeding? _

"Dean? Dean, you have to stay awake!" Sam suddenly said.

"I am awake, Sammy", Dean mumbled. He opened his eyes that he hadn't noticed he had closed again. "God, it hurts, Sam..."

"What hurts, Dean?" Sam asked, his voice edged with worry.

"Everything", Dean answered honestly.

"Okay, Dean, I'm gonna get us out of here. Just don't fall asleep, okay?"

"Whatever you... say, Sam."

Sam didn't know should he be amused or scrared by the fact that Dean actually let him take control. That didn't happen too often. With a gulp, Sam lifted Dean from the floor as gently as he could and put his arm around his own shoulder. He was carrying most of Dean weight, which made it extreamly hard to walk but he made his way to the door, none the less. But just as he was gonna step put of the room, the door slammed shut. Sam heard the little voice of key turning in a lock and then the complete silence took over. That was until Sam kicked the door as hard as he could, trying to open it up but his efforts were in vain. The door remained shut.

"What's... going on... Sam?" Dean asked.

"She... she locked us in. We can't get out of here", Sam said. Panic was slowly making it's way to his mind as he put Dean against the wall and kneeled down in front of him. The older hunter had a wound on the side of his head but for some reason Sam thought that wasn't the fact that he should be most worried about right now. "Dean? Does it still hurt?"

Dean put all his will power to show Sam that everything was going to be fine. But right now his will power wasn't enough and he just nodded. There was no point in lying, Sam would know anyway.

"How bad?"

"Bad", Dean wheezed out. Sam winced. Only the fact that Dean admitted he was in pain meant that it was bad but the fact that he said it was bad out loud...

"I have to stop the bleeding..." Sam said, desperately trying to find something to focuse on.

"It's not... that bad..." Dean breathed.

"Dean..."

"No... Just... try to find a way... to get out of here..." _Get the hell away from here, Sammy. Forget about me, just get the hell out! _Dean thanked every god in the world when he saw Sam nodding. The younger brother got up and went to the floor but no matter how hard he tried it didn't open up. The only window of the room was way too small and even if it would have been big enough, it was way too high.

"I don't know what to do, Dean. The door is shut, there's no other way to get out... I have to get you to a hospital", he said, kneeling back down. Dean didn't say anything, he just looked at Sam with eyes that told Sam he was scrared. "We're gonna get out of here", he promised, trying to assure himself more than Dean. He had to keep this promise. Of all the promises that he had made or would make, this was the one he had to keep.

"No, Sammy. You... are getting out of... here", Dean said suddenly. Sam's eyes widened.

"What're you talking about?" he asked, fearing the answer he thought he would get.

"There's... no way... you can get me out... with you with a spirit... after you... And besides... Even if you would... make it out... I don't think I could... hold on that long..."

"Dean, no!" Sam said, cutting his brother off. "You're gonna get out of this. I mean, c'mon... It's just a little head wound..."

"No, it's... not", Dean said, saying the thing Sam already knew. "It did something... to me... I don't know... what exactly but... something bad... Sam, I don't..."

"Dean, please", Sam begged. "Stop it. You're gonna get through this, we both are. Hold on for me, please! Please, Dean..."

Dean hated Sam's tone. It was scared, it was desperate and it needed Dean to promise something he couldn't. Sam may not want to believe it but Dean felt it. He was dying. This was so not the way he wanted to go, but still the way he was going. Of course, Dean had thought he would die once before, too, but let's face it: Sam couldn't find a faith healer that wife was controlling a reaper from the little bed room they were in. Even finding one from the whole USA had been very unlikely.

"Maybe if I kill the spirit..." Sam's voice broke through Dean's thoughts.

"How... could you... do that...? You have no body... to burn here..." Dean pointed out.

"Maybe there's another way", Sam said.

"And maybe... there isn't... Sam, just... stop..."

"I can't Dean!" Sam said sharply. "I can's just sit around and do nothing. I'm not giving up, not when we still have a chance!"

_--_

_"Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options."_

_"What options? You've got burial and cremation. I know it's not easy but... I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it."_

_"Watch me."_

_--_

_"The reaper... Dean? Is it after you?"_

_YES_

_"So naturally, there's no way to stop it..."_

_"Hey, you can't kill death."_

_"Man, you're uh..."_

_"I'm screwed, Sam."_

_"No... no no no, uh... There's gotta be a way... there's gotta be a way.. Dad'll know what to do."_

_--_

"Yeah, you've never... been too good... in just sitting around... have you, Sammy?" Dean said, a little smile on his face.

"Guess not. But I'm happy about it", Sam replied quietly. Dean sighed.

"You know sometimes... it could do... good for you..."

"Like now?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, like... now", Dean answered. Sam shook his head, no. He couldn't let Dean die, not like this, not in any way. He knew that if he was the one hurt, Dean wouldn't even bother to respond to Sam if he said Dean should just let him die.

"I'm gonna find a way to get out of here. I'm gonna get us both out, Dean. You hear me?"

Dean didn't say anything. He heard the spirit whispering to him again.

"Die... die... die... die..."

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **So if in my last story I tortured Sam, now it's Dean's turn. I hope you guys like the first chapter and if you did, please let me know. And tell me if you didn't, too. Anyway, review and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can. :D

If I can't post the second chapter in time, I wish you all the happy new year 2007!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Careful What You Wish For**

**AN: **Thank you so much for the reviews. I hope you like this chapter, too. I try to make it longer than the first one. Anyway, read and review! Thank you already!

**Warnings: **Language

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter two**

"Die... Die... Die..."

"Oh, for... Christ's sake, I _am_ dying, would you... shut up!" Dean's sudden yell made Sam jump.

"What the hell, Dean?" he asked, confused, worried and very aware of the thing Dean had just said. Dean just shook his head as if trying to get rid of something that annoyed him. "Dean, what? What did I do?"

"Nothing, Sammy... Not about... you", Dean said between his breaths. He looked at Sam, who's eyes had suddenly filled with tears and sighed. "Really, Sammy... Not your doing... Trust me..." Sam nodded, though Dean didn't think for a second that he had believed him. "Sam, you haven't... said anything for minutes... How on the... earth could I... have yelled at you?"

Sam swallowed hard when he noticed how painful talking was becoming for Dean. "Who's talking to you?" he asked.

"The... spirit, I think... She's telling me to..." Dean stopped before ending his sentence. No way did Sam have to know the rest of it.

"She's telling you what, Dean?" Sam asked, using his I-know-I-don't-have-to-know-but-it-would-make-me-so-happy tone. But Dean remained quiet. "Please, Dean. I need to get all the info so I can get us out of here", Sam said.

_Damn Sam and his logic! _"She's uh... She telling me... to die..."

Sam closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening... this wasn't happening. Didn't Dean use to say that nightmares would go away if you denied that they were real?

"She's pretty... demanding, Sam", Dean said. Sam opened his eyes and looked at his brother with disbelief.

"So what? You're just gonna give up cuz a spirit tells you to? No way are you my brother", he said.

"Sammy, would you... just... Jesus Christ!" Dean suddenly yelled and his whole body tensed.

"Dean? Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked, panicked. He didn't get an answer though, Dean was too busy trying to breath. "Oh God... Dean, listen to me, whatever it is you can get through it, okay? Just take deep breaths. Can you do that for me, Dean?"

"God, it... hurts, Sam", Dean managed to get out.

"Breath through it, Dean", Sam advised. He took a hold of Dean's shoulders to keep him still.

"Easier said... than done, Sammy", Dean said, but took a few deep breath nonetheless. "I'm really starting to hate that bitch", he added.

"Yeah, me too", Sam mumbled. This was getting way over his head. He wasn't suppose to be the one in this situation. Dean was the protector, Sam was the protected. Sam was not use to it and he was not enjoying it.

"Not easy to be... in my shoes, huh?" Dean asked as if he had read Sam's mind.

"I don't get how you do it", Sam admitted.

"It's the... benefit of being... the big brother. It's... in the blood..." Dean said.

"So this is suppose to be the other way around..."

"No, Sammy", Dean said, cutting Sam off. "This time... I'm happy that it's... like this..."

Sam turned around so he didn't face his brother as his eyes filled with tears. How could Dean be so damn... Dean-like? Only Dean could say 'I love you' in a way that made Sam want to cry his eyes out.

_Fuck, now I made him cry... _"Sammy?" Sam quickly wiped his eyes and turned back to face Dean. "I meant... what I said..."

"I know. That's the problem!" Sam said, standing up.

"Okay. Now you... lost me."

"You don't care about your own damn well-being, you always put someone else before you! And damn, Dean! It wouldn't hurt you that just for once you'd put yourself first! I mean, I bet right now you're thinking of ways to get _me_ out of here!" Sam was practically yelling when he finished. He breathed hard and watched as Dean lowered his gaze from his eyes.

"Well... You're the... psychic, right...?"

"Damn it, Dean..." Sam whispered.

"Hey! I made... a promise to.. myself that... I wouldn't let you... die before me... I intend to... keep that promise..." Dean said.

"I know, you've told me that already", Sam said. "When did you make that promise anyway?" he asked.

"Uh... about... 17 or 18 years ago..." Dean answered.

"Right after the strigha?" Sam guessed.

"Yeah, it was... around that time, yes", Dean admitted.

Sam shook his head. "You still think it was your fault? I thought we were done with the subject", he said.

"We... are... It just didn't... end the way... you wanted it to..."

"You're so damn stubborn! Even the good things don't get to your thick head!" Sam said.

"Chick dig... the bad boys... Can't let you... make me all soft... with you compliments..." Dean replied.

"Yeah, well. I think the chicks dig you more alive than dead", Sam pointed out.

"That's... not in... my hands", Dean said. "It's never... been..."

"That's only because you just let go the minute they tell you there's no hope", Sam said.

"When the... doctors tell you... there's no hope... you're suppose to... let go..." Dean argued.

"There's always hope, Dean!" Sam said.

"You're starting... to sound like... that dude in... Lord of the Rings", Dean said.

"You've read Lord of the Rings?"

"Don't you... know me... at all? Of course... I have... not read... it... I saw the movie... once..." Dean said. Sam noticed that Dean was starting to make more brakes to take a breath.

"Well, that dude in the Lord of the Rings is right. There _is _always hope."

"What...ever..." _Oh GOD, it'd be nice to get some oxygen..._

"Dean?" Sam watched in horror as Dean's eyes closed and he fell on the floor. "Dean!!" It didn't take Sam two seconds to get to his brother's side. He put two hands to his neck and sighed in relief when he found s steady pulse. "Wake up, Dean. I let you sleep when we're clear, wake up!" Sam ordered. He heard Dean mumble something which meant he wasn't completely unconscious. "Dean? Come on, open your eyes for me, will ya?"

"Can't... breath..."

"Yes, you can, Dean! Nice and easy, just take deep breaths."

"Hurts..."

"I know it does, but you have to think of something else. Just concentrate to the breathing, okay? Just concentrate to the breathing..."

When Dean's breathing didn't seem to become any easier, Sam did the only thing that came to his mind. He gathered Dean into his arms and started to take deep breaths. He didn't allow himself to relax until he was sure Dean's breathing was even with his own.

"Feeling any better?" he asked.

"Thanks... Sammy..." came Dean's muffled reply.

Sam couldn't stop the tears falling this time. He put his forehead on the top of Dean's head and tried to calm himself. _This is gonna end up fine. We're gonna get out of here._

Dean felt something wet in his head. His heart ached and it had nothing to do with the spirit. He had to make Sam feel better. Just a little better...

"Dude... are you... hugging... me?"

"Maybe..." Sam answered.

"Gonna... let me... go... anytime... soon?"

"No."

"Oh... okay..."

Well, if it made Sam feel better Dean could allow it. Just for this once. I mean, even if Sam was trying to deny it, Dean knew he didn't have much time left.

"Die... Die... Die..."

TBC

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **Alright. Well, I kinda hate myself right now... But well, they're Sam and Dean, I can't make them through a hell that they already haven't, right? Tell me what ya think, and I'll be one very happy girl. :D

Lots of Love!


	3. Chapter 3

**Careful What You wish For**

**AN: **Thank you guys for reviewing!! I'm so happy that so many of you are liking my story. I hope that you all keep reading and I'll update as often as I can.

**Warning: **Language

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter three**

"Sammy... Not that... I'm complaining or... anything... but this... is starting to get... really uncomfortable..." Dean said. His breathing had become fine at least ten minutes ago and still Sam showed no signs of letting go.

"You've just had it with the chick-flick moment", Sam said.

"Can you...blame me...? But... Come on... I'm fine..."

Sam sniffed and wiped his tears away before releasing Dean. But as uncomfortable Dean said he had been in Sam's arms, he had no strength to get to another position on his own. Sam noticed that when Dean didn't move and without a word helped him to sit against the wall.

"You okay?" he asked Dean.

"Super. No, geek... boy... What do you...say you try that... door again?" Dean replied. "And if... that doesn't work then... look around the... room", he added.

"Okay..." Sam said and got up. He tried the door but it was still locked. "Damn it!" he cursed and hit the door in frustration. The only thing he managed to do was to make his hand hurt.

Dean couldn't bring himself to say that it was okay. The look on Sam's face was so desperate, almost as desperate as he himself felt. He was suppose to be in control, he was suppose to know how he could get Sam into safety. But he didn't, and it scared the holy Jesus out of him.

"Die... Die...Die..."

"Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"This chick... really has... a problem with... me", Dean said. He saw Sam gulp and almost regretted that he had said anything.

"Do you have any idea what she did to you?" Sam asked.

"No... Just that it... hurt... Still... does..."

"I know that much", Sam mumbled.

"Oh, come... on... We've faced... worse than... this..." Dean tried to cheer Sam up.

"Have we?" Sam asked, his voice a bit harsher than he had intended. "We are in a house with a spirit that could come back any time now. We are locked up to a freakishly small bedroom with no way out. You are dying and we don't even know what's going on with you!" Sam took a deep breath and looked Dean in the eye. "So tell me: Have we _really _faced situation worse than this?"

Dean looked at Sam's hazel eyes and just then realized how scared his baby brother was. God, the kid was terrified.

"You're such a... drama queen... you know... that...?"

"Dean!"

"Hey... this situation... could be worse..." Dean said.

"Oh yeah? How?"

"You could be... the one dying..."

Sam shook his head. "If I was in your place we would have a better chance to get out of here", he said.

"What the hell... are you talking... about?" Dean asked, confused.

"Dean, I'm not good at this! I can't get my eyes off you long enough to take a better look at this room cuz I'm so damn afraid that when I look back at you will be..." Sam let the end of the sentence floating in the air between. After a short break he continued: "I'm just so scared..." he admitted.

Dean watched as Sam slid down against the wall next to him. Their shoulders were touching and for a second Dean thought that this would be a really good place to let go. But that thought left his mind as soon as it had came to it.

"Sammy... I know... you're scared... okay? You have... every right... to be... But still... don't think... I'd be doing... any better... if I was in your... shoes... You're my... kid brother... I'd be... pounding... my head against... this wall..."

Dean was sure he saw a little smile on Sam's face.

"I believe... you can... get us... out of here... You'll... find a... way... And hey... It's not like... I'm dead already... I'll help... as much as... I can... okay Sammy...?"

Now Sam was certainly smiling. "You said 'us'."

"Huh...?"

"You said 'us'! You didn't say: 'I believe you can take _yourself_ out of here', you said '_us_'!"

"Well... take that... as a sign of... unbelievable amount... of faith... I have in... you, little... brother..." Dean said, not wanting to get into a chick-flick moment. "Now... I really think... you should... take a look... at this room... I let... you know... if I feel... any worse..."

"Promise?"

"I... promise..."

"Good. Stay there."

"Are you... kidding me...?" Dean said sarcastically and Sam laughed, despite of himself. He got up and went to the old bed that was in the other side of the wall. He looked under it, took the covers off, flipped the mattress over and came out with nothing but a picture of a small five member family. A girl, a man, a woman and two boys, other one in a wheel chair.

"This is the spirit, right?" Sam said when he showed the picture to Dean.

"Yeah, she's... the middle one... Looks younger though... I guess those... two... are her... parents..." Dean replied, pointing at the oldest looking ones in the picture.

"That would make sense. So those two are her brothers then?" Sam wondered out loud.

"Suppose... so... Go and search that... closet over... there..."

"Yeah", Sam said, still looking at the picture. Something just looked off. Even if the family was smiling brightly, their eyes just lacked the happiness they should have. Sam shook his head and put the picture to his pocket as he started to look through the closet.

Meanwhile, Dean had broke his promised. Or not technically, as he kept repeating to himself. He didn't feel worse. In fact, his left leg couldn't feel anything at all anymore. Dean had noticed the numbness making it's way through it but he hadn't paid any attention to it until now. And slowly but surely, it was taking over his right leg, too.

"Die... Die... Die..."

"I found something", Sam said, breaking through the spirit's voice. "They look like diaries", he said when he dropped two books to Dean's feet. He picked up the other one and flipped through pages. "Sweet mother of God...!" he suddenly said.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Take a look at this picture", Sam said and turned the book so Dean could see. The older hunter's eyes widened. The girl and the younger looking of the boys were tied up to a table and the father and the older boy were smiling like lunatics. As they seemed to be. The boy and the girl were both badly bruised and bleeding. But what shocked Sam and Dean the most was that the father was holding a saw and looked like he was anxious to use it.

Dean gulped. "That's sick... No wonder... why she... is so pissed."

"It says here that: Frank and Matthew used a saw on Tim today. They cut of his left leg." Dean's hand went automatically to his left leg. Lily screamed like a pig in a Christmas table the whole time. Tomorrow, we are gonna get his right leg." Sam closed the book. "This family was insane!" he said.

"Tell me... about it..." Dean replied. "Can you... read more... or do you want... me to... do it...?"

"No, I can do it", Sam assured, opening the book up again. He turned page after page, each one showing a beating or Tim losing yet another limb or body part. When Sam came to the last page, Tim had lost his both legs, both arms, both ears and an eye. And he was still alive. "This is the last page", Sam said. "Today was the big day. We took out..." Sam stopped reading and his eyes became wide as plates.

"Sammy...?"

"They took out his heart! They killed their own son!" Sam said, dropping the book from his hands. "He killed his brother!" he whispered. Dean was kicking himself for not insisting that he would read the book. He took the other one, assuming that it would tell the same story about the girl. That's why he was so surprised that it looked like a normal journal.

"This is... her diary..." he said, reading the first page. "She started it... after her brother... died... Seems like... they were... close... She is furious..." Dean turned the page. "Matthew killed... their parents... he said.

"What?"

"Yeah... Says here that... Matthew... left the... house after... he had killed... Tim... Went to... med school... Lily went after... him..." Dean turned the page again. "But... she never found... him... She's written... just few lines... about each day on...the road... She came... back here... and surprisingly... Matthew... came back... Wanted to... settle things... between them... Wait..." Dean turned the page and frowned. "Here's another... picture... Matthew... fooled her... Killed her... too..." Dean showed the picture of the dead girl and Matthew smiling next to her. "You are right... Sammy... This family was... screwed up..."

"So, if Matthew first tortured Lily's brother with his parents, then kills them and eventually Lily too, wouldn't that leave Lily kinda pissed off?" Sam said.

"And now... she's killing me... With almost... the same way... they killed Tim... Would make... sense... I am the... older one... of us..."

"What did you say?" Sam asked.

"That it'd... make sense cuz... I am... the older..."

"No, before that. About she killing you the same way they killed Tim. How would you know that?"

Dean looked at Sam, who looked back quite accusingly, almost angry. _Me and my big mouth..._

"Die... Die... Die...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **Okay, so now you know a little more about everything. Please let me know what you think! My school doesn't start for another week so I'll update as soon as I get a chance and of course, if I get a lot reviews, I'll try to update even sooner. ; )

Lots of Love!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Careful What You Wish For**

**AN: **You guys are so great that I didn't let myself eat anything sweet for FOUR days cuz I haven't updated... (And that's a long time for me) But I hope that after this I can allow myself to buy me chocolate. After you have read, please please PLEASE let me know what you think of it. :D

**Warning: **Language

**Disclaimer: **You know, I did ask Santa to bring them to me, I even asked my parents would it be possible to buy them but I STILL don't own them...

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**Chapter four**

"Answer me, Dean! How would you know how she's killing you?" Sam demanded.

"Like... I said... it makes sense..."

"Don't lie to me, Dean!" Sam yelled. "Tell me what's going on! Now!" Sam's voice was more panicked than angry. But mostly it was just frustrated. Why couldn't Dean just let him help? It wasn't like it was Sam's first time...

"Okay, Sammy... But you ain't... gonna like it..." Dean said.

"Just tell me", Sam pleaded.

"Okay... uh... I... can't feel my... left leg... and it seems that... in a while I... won't be able... to feel my... leg either..." Dean said. "So I think... she's killing me... the way that... they killed Tim... Which means that..."

"Eventually she's gonna stop your heart", Sam ended the sentence for Dean.

"Told you... you weren't gonna... like it..." Dean said. Sam put a hand through his hair.

"This can't be happening..." he mumbled.

"Yeah... this wasn't actually... in my calender... either..." Dean said as a lame attemp to cheer Sam up. "Come on... little brother... I still think... that you can get us... out of here..."

"Yeah, but I'm starting to doubt it", Sam admitted. He looked around the room, helplessly. There had to be something that would help him to figure things out. A slightest hint of the spirit's, Lily's, weakness. Sam didn't have a long time to think about it, though. A cold wind went through the room and suddenly Lily was standing there right there in front of him. After eyeing Sam for a moment she turned to Dean.

"Die!" she ordered, as of frustrated that it was taking so long.

"Don't... push it... missy... You made... this happen all... on your own... You want... me dead... quickly... should have... done it... already..." Dean said, each word being more painful than the last one.

"No!!" Lily screamed. "You're no good for him!" Dean and Sam exchanged confused looks. "You don't love him! You just hurt him again and again and them you beg for forgivness!" Lily said.

"You... talking about me... or Matthew...?" Dean asked. This chick was really starting to piss him off. What did she know about anything?

"They're all the same", Lily said. She kneeled down in front of Dean and became so close Dean could have touched her face with his nose. Sam made an effort to move but the look Dean shot him kept him glued to where he was. "I'm making it better for him. Better for all of them." And with another blow of air she was gone. Sam was frozen to the spot, his mind blank. Better. Had she just said _better_?! He was brought painfully back to reality when he heard Dean gasp for air. The older man was way paler than five minutes ago and breathing was clearly a hard task for him.

"Dean?" Sam panicked, making his way next to him.

"She really... doesn't like... big brothers..." Dean said, though it looked like it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

"Don't talk, Dean. It just makes it worse. Take deep breaths, okay?"

Dean gave Sam a how-the-hell-do-you-expect-me-to-do-that? look. His chest was on fire and his lungs screamed for oxygen. "God..." he wheezed out. Then he realized something. "Uh... Sam...?"

"Yeah, Dean?" Sam said a little feafully.

"I can't... feel... either leg... anymore..."

It was Sam's turn to gasp for air. No, no, no.. they were suppose to have more time than this... Soon Dean wouldn't be able to hear him and as much it hurt Sam to see how painful talking was to Dean it would hurt him even more if he couldn't hear anything from him.

"This is... bad... huh?" Dean said. For him, talking was 1. a way to keep himself from falling unconscious 2. a way to keep Sam from thinking their time was up.

"You still think we have faced worse than this?" Sam asked, his voice full of tears.

"Of... course... All the... time..." Dean said matter-in-factly. "Can't think of... anything... right now... but..."

"Have you watched Disney movies?" Sam asked, curiously.

"Where... the hell... did that... come from...?" was Dean's reply.

"Oh... nowhere, I was just thinking", Sam said. Dean eyed his little brother for a second but let the subject drop. Not that he was gonna let Sam away with that question. He was give him a hard time when - okay, Dean had to admit it to himself - _if _they got out of this together.

"So... you think... she has a... weakness...?" Dean asked, trying to keep Sam's mind off his dying big brother.

"I don't know. She seems to think that big brother's bring nothing but bad things to their siblings' lives", Sam answered.

"Really...?" Dean said sarcastically.

"Shut up. What if we proved her wrong? She may let you go..."

"How... are we... suppose to... do that...? I'm not... in a condition... where I can... save you... from falling... down from that... window... or something..." Dean said. Sam shrugged, shaking his head. It had been a long shot but he just couldn't think fo anything. "You... know... if the diaries.. were hidden... in that closet... who says... there isn't... anything else...?" Dean said. Sam looked from him back to the closet and deciced that it was worth a shot. He went to the closet, pushed few old coats aside and knocked on the back wall.

"It's hollow!" he said.

"Huh...?"

"It's hollow. There's something in there!" Sam said, his voice a bit more exited. Maybe they did have a chance... He kicked the back wall, making a little crack. He kicked a little harder until there was a hole that he could fit in.

"Be... careful... okay?" Dean suddenly said.

"I will", Sam promised and went through the hole. What he saw was so not what he wanted to find. "Oh God..." he whispered.

"Sammy...?"

Sam swallowed thickly. "This is uh... this is the room where they... did everything..." Sam walked around the what seemed to be the exam table. For all he knew Lily's body could be somewhere in the room so as much as he just wanted to get the hell away from there he sucked it up and went through every possible place that Matthew could have hidden the body. What he had learned about the family was that it could be anywhere.

But as crazy as the family was it didn't seem to be stupid. Sam searched for a good half an hour and came out with nothing. The hope that had grew up in his chest blew up like a ballon. Tears made their way to his eyes again but he blinked the away. He had to keep it together. He took a deep breath and prepared himself to tell Dean the bad news.

"Found... anything...?" Dean asked as soon as Sam was back in the bedroom.

"No. She's not in there. I guess Matthew barried her somewhere else." Sam tried to keep his voice casual but he and Dean could both hear the panic.

"You'll... be fine... you know..." Dean said. "She'll... let you... out as soon as..."

"Please, Dean, stop..."

"Sammy... I can't feel... my legs... or my right... fingers... anymore..." Sam rose his eyebrows. "Yeah... thought... it'd be better if... I just slid it... in there... Anyway... It doesn't seem... like... I'm getting... out of here... alive..."

"Dean..."

"You... know it... as well as... I do..." Dean pointed out. "Just... promise me... you won't do... anything stupid... when you get out... of here... okay?"

"Like what?" Sam asked, trying to avoid the subject.

"Promise... me, Sam...", Dean said.

"Dean, I..."

"Sammy."

The tone of than one little word, the simple look in Dean's eyes that told Sam Dean had given up made Sam nod. He couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to give up, not yet, not when Dean was still alive in front of him. Suddenly all the events of the last hour and the fact that they wouldn't be getting out of this hit Sam and his knees gave under him.

"Sammy?" Dean said, worried. Sam was on his knees, his other arm around his stomach and other keeping him up. "Sam...?"

"I can't do it, Dean", Sam said.

"What...?"

"I can't just go on with my life like nothing had happened. I mean, that's what you want me to do, right?" Sam saw Dean nod slightly. "Well, I can't! I tried, Dean, I really tried but I can't find a way to kill her. I'm sorry, I can't save you but I can't give you what you want either... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I failed you, I..."

"Hold it... right there... Sammy", Dean said. "You have _not..._ failed me... Why the hell would... you think... that...? I'm proud of... you, Sam... Always have... been... What do you... think I really... thought when... you said you... were going to... Stanford...?"

Sam looked up, completely taken by surprise.

"God... I wanted to tell you... how proud I was... and how... happy I was for you... But I was... so afraid that... Dad would kick... you out... as he did... So I just kept... telling myself... that you ran... away and that... I was mad at you... so it wouldn't... hurt so bad..."

Tears dropped on Sam's cheeks. No way would Dean tell this to him if he didn't know this could be his last chance.

"You've been through... more than anyone... ever should... I'm so sorry for that... and I'm so proud... of you... Just remember that... okay...?" Dean finished his hear braking speech.

"I will, Dean..." Sam whispered. Dean smiled a little.

"Die... Die... Die..."

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**AN: **Got to say, never been this dramatic. I have one or two chapters to go, I don't know will I just make it into one... So if you have something to say, you better say it now. Aaaanyway, school starts for me in two days (oh, yei...) and I'm like so behind so I don't know when I'll be able to update. Sometime during next week, though, I promise. :D

Tell me what you think!

Lots of Love!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Careful What You Wish For**

**AN: **I love you guys, for reviewing and for not hating me even if it takes kinda long to update... I hope you like this chapter, tell what you think after reading. :D

**Warning: **Language

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

_I love you, I've loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming_

_You'll be with me and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

--

**Chapter five**

Sam Winchester did not like giving up. Not when he was suppose to give up on his brother. He knew that if he was in Dean's place he would have given up the second they found out they were locked up in this room. But no, Sam would not give up on Dean. No way, nuh-uh... The Only problem was that,.. all the hope he had had disappeared when Dean had made him promise he would remember... Remember how proud Dean was of him, even if Sam couldn't see any reason why Dean should be proud of him. He was falling apart, there was no way he could keep it together if Dean died.

_'When' _a little nasty voice corrected Sam's thoughts. Sam shook his head 'no' without even noticing he did. On hope he could give up but not on Dean. Never ever on Dean.

"Sammy...?"

Sam had hard time believing that the weak and painfilled voice belonged to his brother. But it did and knowing that did so not make Sam feel better. "Yeah?"

"You've never... actually... told me anything... about Stanford... How was it...?"

Sam's heart skipped a beat. Literally. "Wh- why are you asking?"

"I get that... it's painful... I'd just... like to know... a bit more..." Dean said. His eyes were closed but they opened up to look Sam in the eye. And Sam saw pure interest, something he had never seen in Dean's eyes when he talked about school.

"Uh... okay. What do you wanna know?" Sam asked.

"Anything... Just tell... whatever you... want..." Dean said, closing his eyes again, as if he was ready to listen to good music. Sam took a deep breath and started telling.

"Well, on my first day I was completely lost. I didn't know where anything was. But I managed and after the first week I could actually find the classroom's without getting lost. Everyone must have thought I was crazy when I actually yelled in surprise when I found the history class without ending up in the library. And, oh, the library, it was so the best thing in the whole school!" Sam said.

"Are you... kidding me... Sammy...? A school... full of... college girls... and you think... the library is... the best thing... in there...? You sure... we're related...?"

"Pretty sure. And I only had my eyes on one girl", Sam said.

"Oh, yeah... Still can't... believe that... my geek kid brother... managed to make... the hottest girl... in the school... to fall in love... with him..." Dean said.

"You only met Jessica, how would you know she was the hottest?" Sam asked, surprised how easily he could talk about his dead girlfriend now.

"You've... always been... picky when it... comes to girls..." Dean answered.

"Have not!"

"Whatever... Sammy..." Dean said, a little smirk on his face. Sam shook his head and went on with his story.

"I never had the courage to go ask Jess out. She came and asked me", he said making Dean open his eyes with shock.

"You telling me... I haven't taught you... anything...? God..." At this point Dean couldn't feel his left arm anymore and the numbness was making it's way through his right one, too, scaryly fast.

"You've taught me a lot of stuff and do you want me to tell this or not?" Sam asked.

"Sure... go on..."

"Okay, so our first date was pretty traditional. Movies and then we went for a dinner. Then I walked her to her place and actually had the guts to kiss her goodnight." Sam smiled at that memory. The smile on Jess's face after they pulled away had made his heart race very _very _fast.

"Did you ever... miss me...?" Dean suddenly asked. His eyes were closed again and he looked like this was something he asked everyday. Sam looked at him for few seconds and then replied:

"Every day."

"You had... a funny way... of showing that..." Dean said. He didn't mean for it to be an insult, he just spoke his mind but Sam felt like all the air had left his lungs. He blinked back tears when he hunged his head.

"I know", he said quietly. "You have no idea how many times I wanted to call you, to ask if we could meet, I was just..."

"...afraid that... Dad would... pick up..." Dean guessed. Sam nodded. His cheeks were red and it had nothing to with the fact that he had just told his brother about his first kiss with his girlfriend. "I get it... Sam...", Dean said, making Sam look up.

"You do?"

"Yeah... I do..." Dean simply said. "It's just... I kinda missed... you too..."

"Kinda?"

"Oh for... God's sake... we're so done... with the chick-flick... moments... Fine, I... don't think... I could miss... anyone... as much as... I missed you... _Anyone_..." Dean said, looking Sam in the eye. Sam swallowed hard.

"You wanna make me miss you as much. More?" he asked, suddenly angry. He didn't know to who, he had no idea what started it, but he was.

"Huh...?"

"If you missed me so much then do you have any idea how much I'm gonna miss you when you're..." Sam sighed. "...When you're dead?"

"I'm sorry about... that, Sammy... I really am... and..." Suddenly Dean frowned.

"What Dean?" Sam asked, looking at the direction Dean was looking at. "What is it?" he asked, confused.

"I get that... you don't see that... light over... there, do you...?"

Sam looked at Dean with eyes wide with shock. "What light? Dean, is she stopping your... But... No, she can't do this, not yet, it's not suppose to go this way!" he yelled.

"I... don't know.. what's going... on... There's light... but..."

"But what, Dean?" Sam asked.

"I don't want... to go there... It's not... warm..."

"What's not warm?"

"The light... It's cold..." Dean said. "And you wouldn't... be able to... come with me..."

That's when Sam lost it. He got up and punched the door with all his strenght.

"What the... hell, Sammy...?"

"Let him go! He's not like Matthew, he has _never _hurt me!! And he never will, please! Let him go, I can't... I can't live without him, please, I beg you, let him go!" Sam yelled through the door. Tears fell freely on his cheeks as he couldn't control his anger, panic, fear or pain anymore. To his surprise Lily appeared next to him.

"You saying that you want him to live?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes!" Sam said. "Yes, I do, he's my big brother... You've got to let him live, he's never done anything to hurt me... Hell, he's been saving my ass my whole entire life. Please, please, _please..._ Just let him live..." Sam's voice had turned into a whisper. His eyes begged Lily to let Dean go, his whole soul was kneeling down in front of her.

"Do you love him?" Lily asked, eyeing the younger.

"Yes", Sam replied without hesitation.

"Does he love you?"

"I..."

"Yes." Both Lily and Sam turned to look at Dean. He was having trouble with keeping the tears from falling himself but his voice was stronger than a moment ago. "I do." Lily turned her head back to Sam.

"I believe that... Maybe I could let you both leave..." she said. She lowered her gaze to the floor. Sam crossed his fingers behind his back. Then she looked straght to his eyes and smiled. "If you can save him."

"What're you...?" Sam didn't have time to finish his question before Lily was gone again. His blood turned to ice when he saw Dean, paler than ever, collapse on the floor with a thud. "Dean!!!" With two steps Sam was on his brother's side, kneeling down. His world came crushing down when he couldn't hear Dean breathing. "No... No, Dean, no, you can't do this to me, you can't!" Sam yelled, turning Dean on his back. "Dean, please..." he said between the breath he gave to him. "I meant everything I said, you can't go!" No response. "God dammit, Dean!" Sam screamed. "Don't you fucking leave me! I love you... I love you, Dean..."

But as minutes went by Sam started to get tired. He had never been so afraid in his life. His tears fell on Dean's face and chest. "I love you... I love you..."

A cough, then another... And Sam swore that was the sweetest sound he had ever heard...

"Dean...?"

"You, too Sammy..." Dean whispered. Sam heart almost exploded with relief.

"Don't do that again", he said.

"I will never promise you anything ever again", Dean said, sitting up.

"You okay?" Sam asked.

"Honestly, yeah. Are you?"

"I- I'm fine", Sam said. He couldn't believe it was over, he was not ready to put his guard down. He got up and went to the door. After ten seconds of standing in front of it, Dean came next him and pushed the door open.

"See? All you needed was my strenght", Dean joked, patting Sam on the shoulder.

"Let's get out of here", Sam said, almost pleadingly.

"We still have a spirit to..." Dean never got a chance to finish his sentence. Sam grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the house, deciding that this one just wasn't worth it...

--

_I wanted I wanted you to stay _

'_Cause I needed I need to hear you say _

_That I love you, I have loved you all along _

_And I forgive you _

_For being away for far too long _

_So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore _

_Believe me, hold on to me and never let me go_

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

**The End**

**AN: **No way in hell could I EVER kill Dean... Gosh.. But this was the last chapter, I'm so glad you liked my story, you made it worth writing. :D Please please please tell what you think, all of you! I'm so glad about even the shortest of reviews so if you don't have a lot of time just write 'good' or 'bad'...

Oh, and the song that used in the beginning and the end is Nickelback's Far Away.

You guys are SO GREAT!!!

Lots of Love

Hope to see you when I write my next story!


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